There has been a lot of learning recently and I'm trying to articulate what I've learned the best I can.
Here it goes:
Friends. We all have them.
Some have stood the test of time and some have not. Some have been an influence for good and some have influenced me to move on. Sometimes, your mom is your only friend...no judgment here.
Whatever the case may be, I am so grateful for each and every one of them.
Sometimes we meet people that are meant to be in our lives for only a short period of time. This has happened to me many times and without those people, I would have never learned the important lessons I needed to. Sometimes we meet people that maybe we didn't get along with at first but then they become the nearest and dearest of friends. Sometimes we meet people and we have no desire to ever see them again. We have all had these kinds of people in our lives.
In the many comings and goings of such people, I've learned a lot about myself.
Recently, I've discovered that I'm an introvert.
If you want to know what that is, here's a link
Now, I don't fall under every single category but if you really know me, I think you would agree it's pretty spot on. (#11 is actually my parents to a T. Between the two of them I got a pretty good mixture of the different personalities so I've got that going for me.)
Despite the fact that I don't love being in massive groups, I do love meeting new people and finding out their story. Where they're from, how they got to where they are, their ideas on things, etc. The small talk, not so much but I'll have a deep conversation any day.
Now that I've discovered the why's and how's of how I deal with things, I've done a lot of reading on this particular personality.
My whole life I've enjoyed my "alone time". I was getting a pedicure one day, by myself, and I came across this picture
It all made so much sense. Just like my girl Audrey, I love my alone time. It's my sanctuary.
I am by no means a recluse, or an agoraphobic, but for me, when I want to be with people I want it to mean something. I want my time to be filled with good things and good people.
Along with this whole introvert thing, I'm more of a listener than a talker. If you and I are having a conversation, I will most likely listen to what you have to say and I will share my opinion but if I feel like you just need a listener, you'll get one.
On the other hand, you will rarely hear me talk about myself...and my feelings.
There are very few people in this world that know my true thoughts and feelings. Few have seen me cry. I don't keep things from people because I have something to hide, and I will never judge you for your "skeletons in the closet". To be completely honest, I don't know why. I guess I just don't really feel the need to lay it all on the line with every conversation that I have.
I guess you could say that trust plays a big role in what kind of conversation we may have. I love talking to everyone, a trait I inherited from my mother, but don't expect a detailed history of well...anything, a trait I inherited from my father.
Where am I going with this? Well, again because I'm my mother's daughter, probably in circles,
(love you mom!) but let me go back to the friend part.
There are people in my life that have come and gone and some that have made a lasting impression. I cherish them all and they have shaped me into who I am today.
To the ones I knew as a kid: if you know what the "dirt trails" were and how to make a rainy day turn into a swimming pool, I'd say we couldn't have asked for a better childhood.
To the ones in my high school years: I could not have asked for better friends to share those amazing years with. We had some good times and I have the videos to prove it! You all made that experience the best it could have possibly been and I will cherish those memories forever. BSB for life!!
To the ones on my mission: thank you for your examples. I don't see many of you very often but we will always share that experience. I literally would not be the person I am without you.
To the ones after my mission/my SLC family : you know who you are. You were there for me in a time when I was awkward and you didn't care...or you didn't know I was awkward and in that case I'm ok with it. You were there at a time in my life where I was trying to figure myself out whether you know it or not, you all played a part in making me more awesome.
To the ones now: Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for thinking I'm great. You have put up with my shenanigans, my mood swings, my pensive-ness, my energy bursts, and my coma-like lethargy. Thank you for thinking I'm funny and for being the type of people that make me feel good about myself.
From someone that has a difficult time expressing my feelings out loud, writing (or I guess typing) all of this down has given me an opportunity to share things that I haven't been able to articulate.
The good news is, it's taken me a while to put all of this on here so by the time I'm done I will be fully "refueled".
Let's Party!
"True friends are families which you can select."
-Audrey Hepburn
